Rockaway Avenue and beyond

For years I've kept journals. I have stacks of them, really. All of the information that I poured into those specially selected notebooks has been used for my own selfish, therapeutic reasons. In retrospect, they did a world of good for my growth and development. Perhaps the reason why I currently feel slightly detached from specific forms of growth is because I've stopped journal writing and instead have spent the past three years writing art studio lesson plans and papers on artistic and cognitive development.

Well, that's all going to change.

Having spent the past six months teaching elementary art out in Brownsville, Brooklyn, I feel it's time to put it all down. Perhaps my emotional development in relation to what I go through on a daily basis will leap forward because of the wonderful world of blogging.

After teaching privately for Creative Classrooms Teaching Artist program in a pleasant, little Catholic school in the Bronx, I now have the ability to see the stark contrast that is provided by the New York City Department of Education's public schools. I wish that I could say that I know what I'm doing and that I'm being critical because of my years of experience, but I don't and I'm not. My words are here to provide laughter, enlightenment, and to keep it real; in other words, to provide a mirror for my life, your life and anyone else's who thinks they've had it rough.

There's a lot of joy that comes from teaching out in Brownsville, as long as one keeps it real and you don't front like you know what to do when a student tells you that you were born out of your father's nut sack or when an emotionally distraught six year old is kicking your classroom door in, pounding his fists on the door, calling me a fucking bitch, and with all of my strength, I can't quite hold the door closed. I often don't know what to do in those extreme cases and have gone home crying thinking that there must have been something, anything, I could have done to help that child. As a first year public school teacher, I'm up against some of the most challenging moments of my life.

I would like to share some stories with you-mostly because my friend Jess thought that they're worth writing down and sharing with others. She's been a great sounding board on days when I thought I wanted to quit my job and run for the hills-or move to some sleepy town in Maine where I could teach art and tend cows and pigs.

Please check back regularly and subscribe. There will be more soon.